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TO MEASURE the injustice of terrorism think of everything you have done since you were 13 years old and then imagine all that taken away. This was the challenge to the United Nations by an Australian who lost his teenage sister in the 2002 Bali bombing.

Ben Borgia, 28, whose mother Deborah, 45, and sister Abbey, 13, died in the Sari Club blast, listed the benchmarks of his sister’s life unlived: “Your first kiss, love, marriage, books, choices, independence, friendship.”

Mr Borgia, a Sydney actor, told the first symposium on victims of terrorism, held at the UN headquarters in New York on Tuesday, that he had learned to live with the fact that those he loved most were gone, but the sense of loss remained.

“One of my saddest memories is watching my father walking his daughter’s coffin out of the church at her funeral. It should have been her wedding,” he said.

“I constantly look back over our lives and I think that stopped me moving forward … I am still coming to an understanding of the effect this has had on my life.”

The UN Secretary-General, Ban Ki-moon, said he convened the symposium because victims of terrorism too often were viewed as numbers and not individuals. The symposium was a chance for international governments to discuss support for victims and their families.

“It’s long overdue that we opened the doors of the UN to victims of terrorism and focused on their needs,” Mr Ban said.

Mr Borgia was among 18 victims who spoke to the UN. The others included the freed French-Colombian hostage, Ingrid Betancourt, and Jordanian Ashraf Al-Khaled, who lost 27family members when his wedding was bombed in 2005.

Earlier, the Assistant Secretary-General, Robert Orr, defended the event against suggestions that it focused too narrowly on Islamic-inspired terrorism.

He said that while the list of victims was not perfect, it corresponded with worldwide statistics on terrorist acts for regional, religious and cultural purposes.

Victims were drawn from the Middle East, Europe, Asia, Africa and the Americas, but there were none from Afghanistan or Pakistan.

Naomi Kerongo, a victim of the 1998 US embassy bombing in Nairobi which killed 218 people, said she and others had been left unemployed and destitute.

Ms Kerongo expressed relief that emphasis was being placed on the victims of terrorism and not its perpetrators.

“[The] day began with hope and laughter, but ended with death, pain, confusion and despair as Osama bin Laden chose to introduce himself to the world using Kenya and Tanzania at the same time to send his bloodstained postcards from the pit of hell,” Ms Kerongo said, her voice breaking.

Julie Dunsmore, a psychologist at Royal North Shore Hospital who has worked with 500 victims of the Bali bombings, said Australians typically underestimated the effect of terrorism on themselves.

People came to feel a great sense of injustice. “Trying to find a meaning in life again is really difficult and sometimes people deal with it with alcohol, with drugs, and that workaholic thing, but there’s only so much of that you can do before you become unstuck,” Ms Dunsmore said.

Mr Borgia said that speaking to other victims at the UN had emphasised the need to create an Australian support group for people victimised by terrorism.

He said families would struggle with the consequences of the Bali bombings for their lifetimes.

“I don’t know what’s going to come out of this, maybe an international day for victims of terrorism, and an understanding,” Mr Borgia said.

“There must be ongoing government and community support. This will never go away.”

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